4 Disabled People Share What LGBTQ+ Pride Means to Them
Black background with a row of 8 paper dolls– each a different color to make a rainbow with various abilities. Courtesy, Canva
By Arielle Dance, Writer at Diversability
As disabled people we have diverse and intersecting identities. Disability spans every racial and ethnic group, impacts every sex and gender, and flows into the LGBTQ+ community. People who are disabled and LGBTQ+ may experience their own adversities and points of pride. From seeing themselves portrayed in the media, to finding an accessible place for Pride events, disabled LGBTQ+ people continue to express their need to be acknowledged in both communities.
Growing up, portrayals of LGBTQ+ people were limited to Will & Grace, Ellen, and random spotlights on Sex In The City, 90210, Law & Order, and ER. I can't pinpoint any of these intersecting with disability unless the LGBTQ person was a patient or survivor with HIV.
More recently, LGBTQ+ characters are on every channel. Disabled LGBTQ+ folks are less common but are making significant headway on screen. I instantly think of Jillian Mercado (a wheelchair user) on The L Word: Generation Q, Marlee Matlin on The L Word as a deaf lesbian, and Kayla Cromer as an autistic bisexual teen on the show Everything’s Gonna Be Okay.
As a queer woman myself, it has taken years of acceptance and self-love to embrace LGBTQ+ Pride. I have attended pride events, participated in community panels, and taken engagement photos on rainbow walkways. When I first started dating my, now, spouse, marriage equality did not exist in my state or nation. LGBTQ+ Pride reminds me that I can live authentically without hiding my relationship or this piece of myself. I am reminded that Pride stems from generations of riots and advocacy for LGBTQ+ rights.
As a disabled queer person, I am increasingly aware of the lack of accessibility and inclusion of disabled experiences when I attend Pride events. (Note: I am speaking more so about physical spaces and less about the community’s exclusion of disabled experiences. I often rant about accessible events.) From inaccessible Pride parades and festivals, non-existent sign language interpreters on stages, and lacking sensory considerations.
I reached out to LGBTQ+ disabled members of the Diversability Leadership Collective to learn about their experiences with these intersecting identities.
Maddie Reardon
she/her, he/him, they/them | Queer, Trans, Nonbinary
Maddie lives with ADHD, autism, and autoimmune diseases that impact their mobility and quality of life. Their journeys of disability and queerness are similar as neither are linear. Their personal queer pride developed over time with an understanding of their sexuality and gender as they learned more about themself and unlearned heteronormativity that was so deeply ingrained. Their understanding of identity as a disabled person has also evolved over time as they have learned more about their disabilities and worked to unlearn ableist assumptions about what it means to be disabled. Maddie never felt like there was an accurate portrayal of a disabled LGBTQ+ person in the media. When addressing LGBTQ+ spaces, they highlight that disabled people are not considered. In their experience, Pride spaces are not always accessible to the disability community.
What Maddie wants you to know about disabled LGBTQ+ people: “We’re as vast and expansive as any other community. We exist in every other community— disabled LGBTQ+ people are in your community, even if you don’t know it.”
Zane Landin
he/him | Gay
Zane was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder that impacts his life in a variety of ways including unpredictable waves of depression that can make me feel unmotivated, sad, and lost. For Zane, LGBTQ+ Pride is the freedom to express the depths of one's sexuality without the weight of judgment. It grants him the courage to embrace his LGBTQ+ identity without the fear of prejudice. Pride allows him to be himself unapologetically and irrespective of others' opinions. Likewise related to his disability, Zane is unashamed of who he is and his diagnosis. He feels that this intersection is blossoming, not only in his own opinion, but in the larger LGBTQ+ community. However, he believes the primary challenge with Pride events is that they do not issue is that they aren’t accessible for disabled people which makes it difficult for people with disabilities to fully participate.
What Zane wants you to know about disabled LGBTQ+ people: “The disabled LGBTQ+ community is quite large and growing. We will not go away, and it's time we begin embracing being disabled and LGBTQ+.”
Puneet Singh Singhal
he/him | Kink
Puneet has dyslexia, dyspraxia, and stammers which cause significant challenges in his fine motor skills, reading, writing, and coordination. For support, he uses voice to text apps, simple fonts, and accessible clothing. To Puneet, LGBTQ+ Pride symbolizes a celebration of diversity and the fight for acceptance. As a disabled person Pride is a powerful reminder of the importance of inclusion and the need to amplify marginalized voices. With these intersecting identities has come with challenges for him. Navigating both the LGBTQ+ and disabled communities, he has experienced discrimination including disbelief and kinkaphobia.
He does not feel that disabled people are fully included in LGBTQ+ pride conversations and activities. He acknowledges that pride events often lack accessibility features such as ramps, sign language interpreters, or sensory-friendly spaces, making it difficult for disabled or neurodivergent individuals to participate. He calls out the lack of awareness and understanding about the unique challenges faced by disabled members of the community which leads to disabled community members feeling excluded and isolated.
What Puneet wants you to know about disabled LGBTQ+ people: “Our intersectionality brings unique challenges and vulnerabilities. We face marginalization on multiple levels, grappling with body autonomy issues and significant mental health concerns. It's essential for the LGBTQ+ community to actively challenge ableism and make spaces more inclusive for disabled people. Similarly, the disabled community needs to address homophobia and transphobia within its ranks. On a personal note, it is crucial that both these global communities include the kinky community in their movements, fostering true global solidarity and acceptance for all.”
Overall, these disabled LGBTQ+ folks agreed that there is a need for increased understanding of disabled people in the queer community and the needs they face in order to participate in Pride events and activities. There is also a deep desire to see more accurate portrayals of disabled LGBTQ+ people in media in order to better understand that disabled people are sexual beings as well.
Arielle Dance (she/her) is a Writer at Diversability who identifies as a black queer woman with disabilities. A PhD in Mind-Body Medicine, Arielle is published across multiple online platforms and has an award-winning children’s book, Dearest One, that focuses on mindfulness and grief.